Miracles of the Day

Miracles abound. I have been so busy and full, out of town and all around this summer. I'm just resettling to a routine at home, deep cleaned my house and my next stop off to another adventure, maybe more. Today I have a full day to myself, looking at the miracles of my life now and always! 

I am ready for what comes. 

Today, as every day I will stay wrapped in the beautiful cloak of the Goddess's light, love, protection, abundance and guidance.  

Thank you for this miracle.

This moment

Graduation Ceremony

Being grateful for the gift of this moment. Today the last day of school, my boy is on the red team, a school-wide collaboration. I love being part of the community and its extension outward. 
My home feels stiff, time to practice sweetness, bringing fragrance and the soft musical tones of the goddess. Fun, following school, paying forward, river ferry adventures with friends. And summer solstice practice. Bring on the adventures of love and light and hold the sweet smell of change.

Inspired both by Soulemama and The Happiness Project.

Not Forcing a Solution

Today I'm focusing on NOT fixing or forcing (my) solutions onto others. This is hard for me, especially regarding my son. Oh and my husband, and oh yeah, with my father too. And my boss; okay, with everyone. It is just difficult for me to just let things go and to NOT try not to fix, solve, help, remind, solve, make an alternative, or simply (try to) change the outcome or perception.

I've been reading the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I am loving her theoretical and systematic approach. It is such a great way to see a reflection on my life, my approach and system.  I highly recommend it. It gives me great hope and insight.

I  am seeing I spend too much time worrying about the past, the future, outcomes, forethought and planning that I am wasting a lot of time and energy NOT being in the moment, in my own heart, my own feelings and my own dreams. Today I declare to stay inside my heart, in this moment, now.

Treasure Map 2013

Treasure Map 2013

This map is set over a 9 square grid like a octagonal bagua.

List climbing up the Ladder:
Meditate
Yoga
Breathe
12 Steps
Practicing peace
Kindness 
Patience
Love
Self Reflection
Awareness
Faith
Gratitude

Transition

botanical garden greenhouse

This time is so loaded, 
brimming-over-the-top loaded 
with transition, change, flux.

Spring Equinox, Passover, Easter, Aries new moon all coming or just past.

I am deep in flux internally, emotionally; 
anxious for change and new life. 

There is much fear, rather than excitement in that anxiety. Even confusion and doubt. I am seeking self examination, answers, forgiveness. Forgiveness in my own heart.

The new warmth of these past few days and the crisp light and blue skies are giving me power and strength. I've been yearning for nature and blooming. For results. During this week of spring break, we have visited the botanical garden, not yet blooming, and the Macy's flower show, in full bloom. I'm still not fully satisfied. Even my kitchen garden has produced new beautiful blooms. And yet I'm still yearning and anxious for the full production of love and joy that spring will hopefully bring to my broken heart.

botanical garden

Flower Show

Kitchen Garden

New Year Vision Collage

2013 New Year Vision Collage

New Year Vision Collage 2

Illusion of freedom

Another passage coming through. Another transition. Another new beginning. Our boy is turning six in a few weeks. Just amazing. 

Around this period, I'm remembering the time of his birth; When he was in my belly; when he wanted to come out - we had a induction day planned but he wanted to come sooner --so we ended up having an emergency C-section. He miraculously (and scientifically) arrived at 5:58AM on March 1st. What a magical day when my son was born to us!

So here I am almost six years later and so much time and growth, joy, love, learning, miracles, struggles and beauty have come to pass. I am a far different person today. Wouldn't trade it for anything. Glad for it though there have been some losses too. And today, after these years of nurture and unwillingness to give up time, I am going to go back to working full time. Actually, I never really did have a nine-to-five, its always been 3-5 part-time freelance gigs or working impossible stretches of time until the job got done. What was acceptable back then for me isn't acceptable to me with a child. The insecurities, the long travel, the overtime hours just to finish the job. None of that worked when my son was born.  Besides, I lost many of the freelance work after 9/11. And other big losses too. 

I went back to work, 3 days a week, when he was 3 months old. That was so hard but I had no choice. Lucky for our son, we have worked out a family schedule to have him with Mama or Papa, babysitter or friend until he was 3. Then Daycare or School with lots of time with either parent. We are all so blessed to be able to do that since no other family is nearby; grandparents or aunts.... Now he is in Kindergarten and we love and have a lot of involvement with his school. So happy he loves it too.

Now I want greater security and predictable hours and manageable work. Sounds so boring to my former self, perhaps to me now too, but I want to have the other stuff that those stable things make possible- time for my family, for myself, for my creativity, for being able to love and have peace in manageable and balanced ways. Making room for that is worth it. I'm sorry I didn't see that simple truth a little earlier in my life. I had then and lived by and with a different illusion of freedom than I have today.

Make Room for More

Embodied Ganesha

I am amazed at this sustained state of abundance which I've been in and surrounded by for some time now. 

It started with my intensions, planting seeds to grow and blossom, in meditation. I gratefully shared in a 21 day collective meditation through the Chopra Center. Following a guided daily mediation for 21 days (actually 22). Deepak Chopra opened each day with a new focus in limitless thinking and abundance consciousness. It was wonderful to do this and to be committed to the same focus of this group. It gave me momentum to find the time in my day to meditate as best I could. This is something I have so desired and prayed for but never seem to be able to hold too, not so consistently. Even this series allowed me to miss a day and make it up the following, within a 10 day time frame.

Meditation Drawing

The 21 day meditation began during Election week. By the end of 32 days, when I finished it, it was already December. The consciousness was opened, intentions planted and carried on. The holidays were wonderful, rich, abundant beyond any expectation, and still there is this plentitude and possibility! (I am loving it!). 

One of the amazing things is that all wishes are being fulfilled, in my family- not in a greedy way but there is Enough and just having that and feeling it is beautiful. No, I didn't get the job I interviewed for 3 times, which miraculously presented itself (and obviously wasn't right); and No we didn't get to visit my husband's family, on the other side of the world, and No, that affordable housing opportunity didn't become ours... But there Was enough for all we asked for and wanted and MORE. And it has been rich and prosperous and just downright abundant!

One of the gifts we did receive is this sacred statue of Ganesha (photo above), carved from a single moonstone. Ganesha known as the remover of obstacles or the Lord of Obstacles. Our dear friend gave it to us, as she was lead to it in a most unusual way. We have all felt profound obstructions and difficulties being lifted away since Ganesha has been in our hands, hearts and homes. Thank you dear Ganesha, please continue to embody our hearts and to stay open for your clearing of passage. Make room for more!



Oh Lord Ganesha

possessing a large body,
curved trunk,
with the brilliance of a million suns,

please make all my work
free from obstacles-

always.